Tuesday, 18 January 2011


Ever just sat and stared at your own reflection, looked right into your eyes and asked yourself where is your life going? Why does everything seem so distorted?

I did today. I guess I just feel so stalled or stuck. Like I’m standing still and everything and everyone around me is whizzing past at 100 miles an hour.

I hate the fact that I can’t do my job. I’m so intolerably bored and been a dancer and dance teacher wasn’t just something I did and something I thoroughly enjoyed doing, it was a huge part of who I am or who I was. I feel like I have this colossal emptiness and I don’t know how to fill it, part of me feels like its missing.

I suppose I’m just sick and tired of circumstance. I’ve always been so in control so motivated and now, now it’s like the C.F makes the decisions and I follow suit rather than it been the other way around and it’s the most unpleasant feeling in the world.

Saturday, 8 January 2011

The journey begins here, the destination unknown.

Well here we are, I finally got round to creating a blog. Believe it or not (most will lol) its been sat on my laptop half created for over a year now. My reason for not completing it.. I suppose life just got in the way.

I love been busy, having things to occupy my mind with, but recently ive had to slow down and age 27 im currently awaiting a double lung transplant due to end stage Cystic Fibrosis. Dispite this though I am still trying to remain proactive and upbeat. Im enquiring about different online home study courses that I could perhaps complete and im also attending a weekly pilates class with my lovely friend Rachael with whom i've been friends with since middle school. Pilates is great you get the muscle workout without having to break a sweat and you dont get all breathless.

Im not going to call this a diary as such, if i know myself at all then i can honestly say im probabaly incapable of writing with the extreme commitment that a diary requires. So rather than a diary, i'm going to call this a note book where i will write down thoughts, feelings, quotes etc and you can ask any questions you want and I will try and be as honest as i possibly can be although even I have some secrets.

So this journey or next chapter of my life starts here, the destination unknown.

I hope you enjoy sharing it with me.